You are a little bit happier than i am

Tao Lin (2006)

• loneliness is just a word that means you are feeling alone and depressed and starting to think about how difficult and strangely impossible it is for you to be interested in the same people who are interested in you and how if you dont change your worldview and personality soon then you will probably always feel alone and depressed because you can't remember a time when you haven't felt alone and depressed but really you can and that is when you were a small child but that small child seems like a different person, really, than who you are right now and you can't become a different person anymore because you are over twenty years old and people this age don't change unless they fall off a barn and get a long metal rod through their brain and then they change drastically and get studied by scientists and never have to get a real job again but always look very alone and far away and doomed on TV even if they and all their friends and family and an international team of doctors, neural surgeons, and psycologists - cognitive, behavioral, courtroom, and analytical - say that they aren't at all
• book reviewers always praise books as 'life-affirming' because the more humans there are on earth the better
• i want everyone in the band to be friends but i also want to have complete creative control and for everyone to be a little bit afraid of me
• my brain says, 'drink your bottled water' and i say 'no, not yet' because i know that secretly i want my bottled water to hire me i want my bottled water to be the C.E.O. of a corporation and for it to emanate an aura of hiring me; and i want to C.O.O of that corporation to be trained in interpreting emanations of bottled water and be watching us and approach from a distance and tap my shoulder and say, 'hey, i think the C.E.O. is emanating an aura of wanting to hire you for a part-time job that pays full-time'
• and i see a bookstore across the street and the bookstore says, 'hi' i sprint wildly across the street and into the bookstore because i am in love with anything that says hi to me on its own volition and i look at all the literary magazines
• it'll get different
  • at work i wonder
  • if i should take anti-depressant medicine
  • finally, i decide, no, i shouldn't
  • later i am feeling really depressed
  • do it, i say, take anti-depressant medicine
  • still later i feel better
  • anti-depressant medicine, i say, ha, ha
  • ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
  • an hour later i catch myself thinking extremly hard
  • about a bright green apple being where my heart should
• the only way to read wittgenstein is in a wooden chair with coffee. a hard wooden chair. you have to sit up and hate yourself the whole time. i don't know why it's important to hate yourself while reading him, but it works better when you do
• but what is the definition of stupidity: "you make stupid goals and on the way to achieving them you make stupid mistakes and in the end you're just stupid"
• there are enough homeless men to have a snowfight i am not charasmatic enough to organize a snowfight

Page last revised on: 2024-02-23